you would pick up someone in the library
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
