Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
