My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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