Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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