Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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