Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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