5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
