So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
