Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
