My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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