Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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