Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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