that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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