plz talk dirty to me
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
