I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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