My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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