I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
So many bounce houses so little time
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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