Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
