I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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