i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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