i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
