During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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