when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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