Non-Jews are for practice
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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