seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
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Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
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Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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