I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
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