Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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