I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
