Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
