Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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