i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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