arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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