Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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