I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
