Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
