We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
