people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
