Pregnant stripper...not hot.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
