Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".

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  (847): Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy". http://tfl.nu/atvg
  Replies (19) Good night (1094) Bad night (2335)
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  (408): View more from California

  Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand

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  (408): Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand http://tfl.nu/h440
  Replies (31) Good night (4900) Bad night (665)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs

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  (404): dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs http://tfl.nu/cgkd
  Replies (58) Good night (1046) Bad night (12259)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"

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  (978): why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm" http://tfl.nu/ynyp
  Replies (64) Good night (6562) Bad night (898)
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  (661): View more from California

  No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.

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  (661): No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer. http://tfl.nu/5zs6
  Replies (44) Good night (4536) Bad night (1041)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..

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  (574): Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called.. http://tfl.nu/0u89
  Replies (13) Good night (1094) Bad night (3369)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump

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  (256): she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump http://tfl.nu/on8v
  Replies (12) Good night (5895) Bad night (987)
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  (916): View more from California

  craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?

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  (916): craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in? http://tfl.nu/76bu
  Replies (16) Good night (8619) Bad night (1220)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.

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  (+44): i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating. http://tfl.nu/8l9m
  Replies (11) Good night (2491) Bad night (844)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.

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  (320): I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years. http://tfl.nu/ge1t
  Replies (2) Good night (1045) Bad night (1328)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.

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  (901): He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy. http://tfl.nu/2710
  Replies (6) Good night (1795) Bad night (690)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.

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  (607): Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan. http://tfl.nu/ogj8
  Replies (0) Good night (948) Bad night (513)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay

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  (559): Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay http://tfl.nu/1b8x
  Replies (9) Good night (900) Bad night (579)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.

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  (219): I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying. http://tfl.nu/c4tp
  Replies (4) Good night (1477) Bad night (650)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?

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  (603): What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time? http://tfl.nu/dfic
  Replies (12) Good night (254) Bad night (826)

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