Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
