Texts From Last Night

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  (518): View more from New York

  OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....

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  (518): OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX..... http://tfl.nu/r3kn
  Replies (5) Good night (1089) Bad night (926)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night

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  (301): Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night http://tfl.nu/wbgo
  Replies (15) Good night (4491) Bad night (669)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine

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  (913): took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine http://tfl.nu/51sq
  Replies (22) Good night (5508) Bad night (780)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone

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  (321): Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone http://tfl.nu/v4em
  Replies (29) Good night (832) Bad night (4081)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.

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  (971): He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex. http://tfl.nu/3zjj
  Replies (21) Good night (1936) Bad night (6595)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety

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  (715): He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety http://tfl.nu/vghu
  Replies (4) Good night (2189) Bad night (1131)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..

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  (+61): i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history.. http://tfl.nu/iskw
  Replies (9) Good night (2264) Bad night (832)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Except there is my pee all over the walls now

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  (413): Except there is my pee all over the walls now http://tfl.nu/crd6
  Replies (11) Good night (626) Bad night (1755)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.

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  (724): I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror. http://tfl.nu/s26b
  Replies (19) Good night (563) Bad night (1393)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.

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  (908): I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping. http://tfl.nu/2e7t
  Replies (18) Good night (1017) Bad night (1762)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  You're so romantic.

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  (406): I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you. (1-406): You're so romantic. http://tfl.nu/mrz2
  Replies (2) Good night (1179) Bad night (477)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.

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  (585): Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship. http://tfl.nu/lc1v
  Replies (5) Good night (1097) Bad night (446)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.

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  (612): I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night. http://tfl.nu/84z8
  Replies (1) Good night (867) Bad night (512)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer

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  (716): Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer http://tfl.nu/jd4w
  Replies (3) Good night (555) Bad night (317)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder

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  (217): turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder http://tfl.nu/r034
  Replies (0) Good night (568) Bad night (339)

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