Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(907): View more from Alaska

so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?

Fav 12 919 2589
share tweet
(801): View more from Utah

i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.

Fav 24 4258 1055
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(630): View more from Illinois

Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.

(217): View more from Illinois

Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.

Fav 13 9419 1492
share tweet
(402): View more from Nebraska

I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up

Fav 5 974 2358
share tweet
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Read it at the TFLN blog
(541): View more from Oregon

Someone in a vagina costume on campus.

Fav 7 3260 1160
share tweet
(716): View more from New York

I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.

Fav 12 1388 2937
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(520): View more from Arizona

I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.

Fav 5 1794 1069
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(425): View more from Washington

Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.

(816): View more from Missouri

May his noodley appendage touch you.

Fav 2 648 173
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(757): View more from Virginia

It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier

Fav 3 45 95
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT