i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
