Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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