Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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