Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
