Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
