so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
