The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
