Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
