Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
The struggles of a small town man whore
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
