I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
