I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
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should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
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I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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