I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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