I skipped work to stalk him.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
i need some magic done to my vagina
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize