im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
