Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
