Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
