He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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