Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
