is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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