the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Panties = found
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