So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
