Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
